Before a person dies, he usually writes some sort of will, leaving his various material and financial assets to family, friends, charity or to "posterity." But another type of asset can be tragically lost forever with a person's passing -- the nonmaterial gains from a lifetime of experience.
I think it can be said that just about everyone has this type of wealth to bequeath. And this is where the "ethical will" comes in. This document hands on a person's values and beliefs. It states what has been most important to him, what star he has used to guide the ship of his life.
An ethical will can include stories of those happenings which were most crucial in forming or changing the course of one's life. Here, too, go descriptions of the lessons learned from various life experiences. The stories can also relate those events when the writer stood up for his values.
Conversely, the will can tell of regrets, of moments when values were not held strongly enough. It can offer advice to those who come after. And it can express the writer's gratitude.
Writing an ethical will is an opportunity for reflection on the meaning of life, so religious and spiritual values often play a large part in the manuscript. The writer might also muse about those things he will miss when he is gone, and can communicate his hopes for the future of those who receive the will.
An ethical will thus provides a priceless snapshot of all that was best about a person. But it doesn't necessarily have to be written only at the end of a lifetime. Any major transition can prompt its composition: the birth of a child, diagnosis of (or recovery from) a serious illness, retirement or other milestone. And the will can certainly be altered and added to as the lifetime continues.
An ethical will can be as simple as handwriting on a single piece of paper or as elaborate as a video or audio production.
Barry K. Baines, MD, an expert on end-of-life care, has written a book entitled Ethical Wills: Putting Your Values on Paper (Perseus Publishing, 2002). He is one of the pioneers in the field of ethical wills, and I credit his work for the birth of my own interest in this practice.
I highly recommend taking a few hours to settle into stillness and consider what values, beliefs, advice, and celebration you might wish to express in such a document. It's a most rewarding exercise for yourself as well as for those who may live after you.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Cosmic Love Song
I'm still enjoying the book For Lovers of God Everywhere (published by Hay House, 2009), which I mentioned in my last post. Two things that move me greatly about the mystic poets: their passion, and the exquisite symbolism of "union with the Beloved" for the ecstatic state.
A lovely example of this cosmic romance is an excerpt from "The Dark Night" by St. John of the Cross (originally translated by Robert Bly; found on page 160 of For Lovers. . .):
"In the delicious night,
In privacy, where no one saw me,
Nor did I see one thing, I had no light or guide
But the fire that burned inside my chest.
That fire showed me
The way more clearly than the blaze of noon
To where, waiting for me,
Was the One I knew so well,
In that place where no one ever is.
I stood still; I forgot who I was,
My face leaning against Him,
Everything stopped, abandoned me,
My being was gone, forgotten
Among the white lilies."
A lovely example of this cosmic romance is an excerpt from "The Dark Night" by St. John of the Cross (originally translated by Robert Bly; found on page 160 of For Lovers. . .):
"In the delicious night,
In privacy, where no one saw me,
Nor did I see one thing, I had no light or guide
But the fire that burned inside my chest.
That fire showed me
The way more clearly than the blaze of noon
To where, waiting for me,
Was the One I knew so well,
In that place where no one ever is.
I stood still; I forgot who I was,
My face leaning against Him,
Everything stopped, abandoned me,
My being was gone, forgotten
Among the white lilies."
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Who Are You?
In a book called For Lovers of God Everywhere (Poems of the Christian Mystics, by Roger Housden; Hay House, 2009) I came across an excerpt of a poem by the modern mystic Thomas Merton.
The poem moved me because I had recently read in several different contexts about the importance of uncovering every aspect of oneself: confronting the "shadow self," or "smiling at fear" (the latter from Buddhist Pema Chodron). This "work on oneself" in meditation or reflection is valuable in unmasking hidden aspects of the ego and in developing compassion.
Nonetheless, it was refreshing to read Merton's spare words exhorting movement beyond all thought to a different level of self-revelation and acceptance.
Here's the poem, entitled "In Silence" (excerpt):
Be still.
Listen to the stones of the wall.
Be silent, they try
To speak your
Name.
Listen
To the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
Are you? Whose
Silence are you?
Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
Are quiet). Do not
Think of what you are
Still less of
What you may one day be.
Rather
Be what you are (but who?) be
The unthinkable one
You do not know.
The poem moved me because I had recently read in several different contexts about the importance of uncovering every aspect of oneself: confronting the "shadow self," or "smiling at fear" (the latter from Buddhist Pema Chodron). This "work on oneself" in meditation or reflection is valuable in unmasking hidden aspects of the ego and in developing compassion.
Nonetheless, it was refreshing to read Merton's spare words exhorting movement beyond all thought to a different level of self-revelation and acceptance.
Here's the poem, entitled "In Silence" (excerpt):
Be still.
Listen to the stones of the wall.
Be silent, they try
To speak your
Name.
Listen
To the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
Are you? Whose
Silence are you?
Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
Are quiet). Do not
Think of what you are
Still less of
What you may one day be.
Rather
Be what you are (but who?) be
The unthinkable one
You do not know.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Why Are Words So Important?
The working English vocabulary of the average 14-year-old has dropped from 25,000 to 10,000 words within the last 50 years. So reports David W. Orr, Paul Sears Distinguished Professor of Environmental Studies and Politics at Oberlin College, in his paper "Verbicide" (copyright 1999 by Oberlin College). Why be concerned? Orr goes on to note that "This is not merely a decline in numbers of words, but in the capacity to think."
"Verbicide," incidentally, literally means "the murder of a word." It is defined by Dictionary.com as "the willful distortion or depreciation of the original meaning of a word." Apparently this term was first used by C.S. Lewis.
Orr also points out that the loss of vocabulary is greatest in those areas which have to do with "large issues such as philosophy, religion, public policy, and nature." Indeed, "We are losing the capacity for articulate intelligence about the things that matter most," says Orr.
Orr's fascinating and disturbing article can be read on the Oberlin College website at www.oberlin.edu/news-info/00oct/verbicide.html.
I'd like to point out several important benefits, cultural and spiritual, in having a strong knowledge of words.
Knowing the exact meaning of words and having a large cache of them to draw upon to express oneself creates a fluency of communication and a clear agreement between speaker and listener, writer and reader, as to the meaning of the communication. Words bring us together.
Language is also the underpinning of culture. Words inform our habits and our ways of being. Our "culture" of consumerism is, unfortunately, constantly being reinforced by language.
Maintaining correct language is an excellent source of self-discipline. Fine exercises for anyone include learning a new word every day, and using a dictionary frequently to come to understand usage, meaning, and nuance. Correct, elegant language promotes formality, which is seemingly dying these days at the hands of casualness. And, with the death of formality comes, apparently, a loss of civility and respect as well.
Training in the accurate use of an abundant vocabulary prepares one for higher understanding. Words have layers of meaning. They carry with them all the joys of ideas and of symbolism, metaphor and analogy. The "higher" meaning of many words, the language of spirit, points to a Reality beyond that of the objective. Interestingly, the archaic meanings and the Latin, Greek and Indo-European roots of words often point toward deeper, spiritual meanings.
Words can only point, since even the highest language cannot describe the Indescribable, Ineffable One. Yet careful use of high language can be a constant spiritual discipline. Looking always for the correct word when speaking or writing can remind one of the Truth, of the Standpoint that frees: When I use this word, does it underline for me and my hearers inner meaning and correct Identity? In other words, when I use this word, am I speaking as the I AM would speak? When I use the word "I," am I speaking as ego personality or knowingly as the divine Self, disguised as a human?
At the highest pinnacle of language stands the Logos: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was ((is)) God." Realizing this makes the use of words a sacred, holy experience. What a privilege, what a responsibility, what a wonder!
"Verbicide," incidentally, literally means "the murder of a word." It is defined by Dictionary.com as "the willful distortion or depreciation of the original meaning of a word." Apparently this term was first used by C.S. Lewis.
Orr also points out that the loss of vocabulary is greatest in those areas which have to do with "large issues such as philosophy, religion, public policy, and nature." Indeed, "We are losing the capacity for articulate intelligence about the things that matter most," says Orr.
Orr's fascinating and disturbing article can be read on the Oberlin College website at www.oberlin.edu/news-info/00oct/verbicide.html.
I'd like to point out several important benefits, cultural and spiritual, in having a strong knowledge of words.
Knowing the exact meaning of words and having a large cache of them to draw upon to express oneself creates a fluency of communication and a clear agreement between speaker and listener, writer and reader, as to the meaning of the communication. Words bring us together.
Language is also the underpinning of culture. Words inform our habits and our ways of being. Our "culture" of consumerism is, unfortunately, constantly being reinforced by language.
Maintaining correct language is an excellent source of self-discipline. Fine exercises for anyone include learning a new word every day, and using a dictionary frequently to come to understand usage, meaning, and nuance. Correct, elegant language promotes formality, which is seemingly dying these days at the hands of casualness. And, with the death of formality comes, apparently, a loss of civility and respect as well.
Training in the accurate use of an abundant vocabulary prepares one for higher understanding. Words have layers of meaning. They carry with them all the joys of ideas and of symbolism, metaphor and analogy. The "higher" meaning of many words, the language of spirit, points to a Reality beyond that of the objective. Interestingly, the archaic meanings and the Latin, Greek and Indo-European roots of words often point toward deeper, spiritual meanings.
Words can only point, since even the highest language cannot describe the Indescribable, Ineffable One. Yet careful use of high language can be a constant spiritual discipline. Looking always for the correct word when speaking or writing can remind one of the Truth, of the Standpoint that frees: When I use this word, does it underline for me and my hearers inner meaning and correct Identity? In other words, when I use this word, am I speaking as the I AM would speak? When I use the word "I," am I speaking as ego personality or knowingly as the divine Self, disguised as a human?
At the highest pinnacle of language stands the Logos: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was ((is)) God." Realizing this makes the use of words a sacred, holy experience. What a privilege, what a responsibility, what a wonder!
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